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A simple first step in the Make Self-Care Simple Method

The Feedback Finder helps you discover your body’s guidance style.

When you follow healthy living advice and don’t see the improvements you expected, one of two things normally happens.

You give up too soon, before the early signs of improvement have had chance to become clear.

Or you continue long after the body has been indicating that something isn’t helping.

Both can leave you feeling confused and doubting the advice or product, your body, and even yourself.

This was exactly what I saw with new clients who had done their research and were doing almost everything right, but still weren’t seeing the improvements they expected.

And yet, when I assessed them, I found that the body had often been offering guidance all along.

The Make Self-Care Simple Method is based on the idea that your body isn’t just the problem – it’s also a messenger.

Because once you begin to recognise your body’s guidance, you have a much better idea of what’s happening and what to do next.

The Feedback Finder is a simple DIY way to discover your body’s guidance style and learn how to use it.

Most healthy living advice focuses on what to do.

The Feedback Finder helps you understand what happens when you do it.

As a therapist, I quickly realised that two people following the same advice could experience very different results.

Sometimes the advice was helping both of them.

But their early feedback looked completely different.

One person might notice obvious improvements.

Yet another might notice very little at first.

And a third might experience mixed or confusing results.

That’s why the next step isn’t always the same.

Sometimes you need to continue.

Sometimes you need to make a small adjustment.

And sometimes it’s time to try something different.

The Feedback Finder helps you recognise your body’s feedback patterns, so when improvements feel unclear, you know what to do next.

Discovering your body’s guidance style is usually quick and surprisingly obvious – one of those insights that, once someone points it out, you can’t unsee.

But the real value isn’t simply discovering your style.

It’s learning how to use that information in real life.

Based on over 20 years of working with clients, I’ve included practical guidance to help you understand what your body’s feedback may be telling you and how to respond.

Inside the Feedback Finder you’ll discover:

  • how your body naturally gives feedback
  • the common ways you may have misunderstood that feedback
  • what helps your feedback style make clearer progress
  • what to do next when you’re not seeing the improvements you hoped for

My wish is that you don’t simply discover your body’s guidance style.

My wish is that you learn how to use this information, so you know what to do next.

Because every time you understand your body’s feedback, you make better self-care decisions.

And over time, those decisions become your personalised Menu of Self-Care – a practical guide to what supports your body, your life and your wellbeing.

When you want your body to relax –
but it just won’t…

This is a simple place to start.

The Relaxation Switch helps you find what actually helps your body settle –
so you’re not guessing
or forcing something that doesn’t work.

The hidden reason your healthy efforts might not be working — even when you’re doing everything right

It felt like something must be missing.

I was doing the right things to support my health –
but not seeing the results I expected.

After a vague diagnosis of long covid – and being told it was “just age”,
I researched everything.

I had learned how to listen to my body.
Changed my diet.
Tried countless supplements.
Explored different remedies to see what helped.

And there were definite signs of improvement.

But…it was as if something was blocking my results.

It felt like I was riding the clutch
both the accelerator and the brake on at the same time.

Maybe you can relate?

If you can, I want to share the hidden reason this was happening –
and the simple shift that helped.


The reason

I wouldn’t describe myself as anxious or a worrier.

In fact, I’ve always felt quite resilient – able to keep going with a cheerful smile, whatever life throws at me.

So when nervous system support and vagus nerve exercises started appearing everywhere, I didn’t immediately see myself in it.

But something made me take another look.


What I hadn’t realised

The nervous system and inflammation are closely linked.

When the body feels safe and relaxed, it can focus on repair – including calming inflammation.

But when the nervous system stays in alert mode, the body leans more towards protection.

And inflammation is part of that protective response.

Midlife changes aren’t caused by just one thing.

But research suggests that low-level inflammation is one of the key processes happening in the body at this stage of life.

And when I looked at my own symptoms, many of them could be described that way.

Practical Selfcare Challenges - MakeSelfcareSimple

Why this can be easy to miss

The part that surprised me most was this.

I didn’t feel stressed.

Life had its demands, yes –
but there were also many good things happening.

Then I came across an idea that immediately resonated.

That the nervous system can act like a quiet guard on duty.

Listening.
Watching.
Ready to step in if needed
.

Not overwhelmed.

Just… always on.

And for the first time, I could see it.

Maybe my body wasn’t fully switching off.

Maybe it was quietly waiting for “what next?” –
because it had learned to stay ready.


A quiet shift

I’ll be honest – that realisation changed how I saw things.

I began to feel a lot more empathy for my nervous system.

Not broken.
Not failing.

Just… working hard to protect me.


Why relaxation felt so difficult

Once this clicked, I set about supporting my nervous system.

I had a long list of exercises ready.

And…

I kept forgetting.
Didn’t have enough time.
And felt a quiet resistance when it was time to do them.

I kept trying – because I really did want to feel better.

And I knew relaxation was important.

But if I’m honest, I wasn’t sure if they were actually working.

The strangest part?

The exercises themselves were simple.

So why was it so difficult for my body to relax?

Still lotus flower resting on calm water, representing a gentle pause and nervous system rest

The moment everything changed

Then I remembered something.

For years, I had been able to meditate daily with no problem.

So what had made that feel easy?

There was one simple element that had always been part of my practice.

When I came back to that – on its own – everything changed.

It was like finding a switch.

Where before there had been resistance, now my body softened almost instantly.

For the first time in a long while, I could feel real relaxation again.

There was no second-guessing.

It felt familiar.
Natural.
Even enjoyable.


What I discovered

That experience made me curious.

Would the same thing work for everyone?

And the answer was… not exactly.

Because what I began to see was this:

There isn’t just one way the nervous system relaxes.
There are different pathways.

Different “switches”.

Over time, I could see six clear patterns in how people’s nervous systems responded to those pathways.

I call these nervous system signatures.

Each one reflects the kind of support your body responds to most easily –
the pathway that acts like a “switch” for your nervous system.

So it can move into rest… and allow repair to begin.


A simple way to find your relaxation switch

If any of this feels familiar,
you don’t need to figure it all out on your own.

This is where you can begin to understand
what helps your body relax more easily
so the things you’re already doing
can start to work better for you.

You’ll begin to see:

• the type of support your body responds to most easily
• how to recognise when your body is starting to settle
• and how to work with your nervous system, rather than against it

Alongside this, you’ll find a gentle exercise called the Drop Test
a simple way to notice which type of support your body responds to most easily,
without needing to try everything or second-guess yourself.

It’s not about getting it perfect.
Just finding a place to start.

👉 If you’d like to discover your relaxation switch and begin to understand what helps your body settle, you can explore this for yourself here.