It’s a funny thing really.
I know from my self-care tracking that for my body, my food choices directly impact my symptoms.
Yet, when I came to start my meal plan for this week, an idea popped into my head.
‘Don’t go too strict – you know it never works for you’.
And I was reminded of weeks when the unfairness of watching people around me eat whatever they liked with no consequences had become too much.
And I would ‘treat’ myself to something I really shouldn’t have.
And the next morning I would pay the price.
So, I remembered the ‘middle way’, no excess pleasure and no body denial.
It was a sound philosophy, the path of balance.
So, I included some more convenient meal choices – perfect for that mid-week fatigue when I don’t have the energy to cook.
I included a ‘treat’ meal, telling myself a planned treat is better than going completely off the rails.
A few days later when my shopping was delivered, I was a bit surprised.
There were more ‘treat’ meals than I expected or remembered ordering.
I didn’t refuse them.
And I enjoyed eating them this week.
And my body gamely coped as best as it could.
It avoided any flare-up of the big symptoms.
But it was quietly struggling.
The mild little symptoms, the ones that come and go and are easily forgotten, showed up.
Nothing that stopped me from getting everything done this week.
But daily life felt more of a struggle, there were constant little niggles and irritations.
The week felt a bit long too. Maybe because all those constant mild symptoms might not shout out and stop me, but did slow me down?
And now I am about to sit down and plan my weekly meals again.
And I reflect on last week’s experience.
Was the middle way the wrong approach for my meal planning?
Or, could it work, but I’d done it wrong, maybe I’d got the balance wrong?
Was there a specific middle way formula?
Was the idea of the middle way simply an excuse my mind created for self-sabotage?
Was there another way to keep my meals clean but feel less restrictive? Without needing me to spend hours in the kitchen?
One thing I do know.
I could easily have said – this works because none of the big symptoms returned or became worse.
But when I took the time to observe and listen, my body was telling a different story.
It had coped, but the early signs of struggle were there.
I’m going to think a bit more before I plan my weekly meals.
