Just for a second a quiet corner of my mind reminds me of the latest self-care challenge I am ‘testing’ for the blog. The one I am supposed to be doing right now.
Today however, the UK has had its hottest day of the year and despite the best efforts of the fan I’m melting.
I really should start this new practice, but I just want to lie on my bed and not move, not do anything. Stay as cool as possible.
The truth is that this potentially health-changing new practice would only take a few minutes, no equipment or effort really needed, and could be done from the bed where I’m now laid.
But I’m also melting in this heat. On the hottest day of the year.
Sound familiar?
Excuses (some more valid than others) are how I self-sabotage my self-care efforts.
I know this because for decades I have been exploring self-sabotage when it comes to self-care. And me and my excuses have become old friends.
Today I want to help you self-sabotage-proof your first challenge so you can win the day. And then the challenge.
Jump to Recipe
Do you really want to fail (again)?
Whenever you do anything for the first time your mind can get in the way!
It can feel like self-sabotage, as if there is a part of you that wants you to fail.
This is because your mind is programmed to value known experiences and outcomes.
A cascade of Self-sabotage patterns are triggered when you start to make any new changes.
And these self-sabotage patterns feel like truth.
Sneaky Self-Sabotage Signs that Feel like Truth
It’s helpful to be prepared by knowing what sneaky self-sabotage signs to look for.
Here are a few common signs I’ve seen in clients and experienced myself.
- *Keep forgetting/ignoring any reminders
- *I don’t have enough time/energy etc (Excuses).
- *Doubts – will this even work? I’ve never heard of this before.
- *Fears – am I doing this wrong? Will I look foolish or be judged?
- *Limiting beliefs – this won’t work for me (nothing does)
These (and others) are all examples of how your brain tries to protect you.
AND
These thoughts will be accompanied by uncomfortable feelings which strengthen the message.
For example, when you realise you forgot to complete today’s challenge you may also experience a twinge of guilt and mean self-talk ‘I am useless!’
Or with a limiting belief of ‘this won’t work for me’ your mind might remind you of past failures so you experience the remembered pain and frustration of experiencing failure ‘nothing ever works for me’.
BTW I have experienced all of these self-sabotage patterns and so do most people.
Psst… want a simple way to complete your first self-care challenge? Grab my FREE Self-Care Challenge Toolkit and start today
Why would my mind work against me?
Good question. Doesn’t my mind exist to do my bidding?
Er Not always. It’s complicated.
With every new change you make there is always a certain level of risk (will it/won’t it work) and your default protector-brain wants you to avoid risk at all costs.
Your past is sprinkled with painful failures and your mind tries to protect you from making more.
Your brain is wired to survive by avoiding change to reduce new risks/threats.
So the protector-brain uses every tactic in the book to test your resolve before you start something new – clever!
Unless you, the controller, override the programme.
Become the Controller.
Your protector-brain is a very good thing – it looks out for you 24/7 to stop you taking impulsive actions or doing something new without good reason.
The brain is designed with an override button that gives you free will and choice to make new changes that you decide are worth the risk.
Testing new healthy changes is usually worth the risk when it comes to starting your self-care challenge.
The main risk is no results after wasting a few minutes each day for 28 days.
But unless you override the default programme, the protector brain will trigger self-sabotage patterns even with healthy changes.
The first step to override an over-protective brain is to become aware the instant any self-sabotage pattern starts.
Having read this article, you are one step-closer to notice and question the protector’s thoughts and feelings.
‘Ah, is this my protector brain?’
How to Override your Self-Sabotage Patterns
Then you are going to remind yourself, and your mind, why you chose to do the challenge. You are going to soothe your protector brain into switching the alert off.
You can gently remind yourself.
“I am trying this challenge for the next 28-days to see if this is something that my body needs to help it repair and function.”
Can you see how reasonable and soothing this reply is?
Instead of ‘I am terrible/useless/hopeless, always trying to self-sabotage myself’
Or giving up…
Don’t Skip This Important Step
In my opening example, what I actually did was to complete some of the self-care practice immediately after recognising my excuse for what it was. A test from my brain!
I actually didn’t do all of the practice (because it was true I was melting in the heat) but enough to reinforce my choice that this is important to me.
The brain will keep trying to test me over the next few days. Do you really want to make this new change?
This is perfectly normal and a sign of a healthy protector-brain.
You might have to hunt down all the sneaky ways your brain tries to stop you making new healthy changes when you start a new self-care challenge.
Then make that healthy change as soon as possible to reinforce your decision that this new change (challenge) is important.
Of course self-care is only one area of your life that this happens!
Finally the Good News!
There is some good news…
After a while it does get easier to recognise self-sabotage tactics before they stop you.
Like myself, you will start to notice your default self-sabotage patterns.
You might be a doubter or excuse-maker like me, or maybe more of a worrier, or perfectionist or something else, just notice how your protector shows up. There is no right or wrong protector!
I found that my self-sabotage patterns especially around self-care (Where I have practiced being the controller the most) has reduced in intensity and is really quite half-hearted these days.
Keep this in Mind…
The aim is for new healthy changes to become automatic habits.
Which is why after the 28-day challenge, if you decide to add this practice to your regular SelfCare Menu, you continue the practice.
Having spent the last 28-days overriding any self-sabotage attempts, and following the practice consistently, you’ve set up this new practice to become another healthy habit.
That runs on automatic. While you focus on other things.
Next Steps
Each time you start a new self-care challenge you can self-sabotage-proof your goals simply by understanding your mind a little better.
I’ve listed ‘Self-Sabotage your Day – Step by Step‘ for you to download in the handy recipe section below. You can download it as a PDF.
Hopefully now you understand why your mind ‘tests’ your resolve to make healthy new changes through self-sabotage tactics you have a new perspective and way forward!
Sometimes to complete the challenge or reach your end-goal you simply have to win the day.
That quiet part of my mind I mentioned at the beginning? It is another part of your brain that is designed to remind you of your goal. Something to discuss next time.
Awareness is powerful — but it becomes transformation when you track and apply it. The toolkit helps you put your insights into practice
Free Self-Care Start-Up Toolkit
Turn inspiration into lasting results — with a simple system that helps self-care finally work with your body, not against it.
If you’ve been reading along and thinking, “I’d love to try this myself one day…” — you don’t have to wait, or wonder where to start.
The Free Self-Care Start-Up Toolkit gives you the gentle structure to make your first challenge easy, personal, and effective.
It’s the same step-by-step approach I use when following the challenges alongside you — so you’ll feel supported every step of the way.
Inside, you’ll find:
🌿 A gentle Before Assessment to pinpoint what your body truly needs — so you can stop guessing and start seeing real results
🌿 Step-by-step guidance (plus short video walkthroughs) to choose the right self-care challenge for your needs — and actually complete it.
🌿 Printable planners, reflections, and trackers to help you stay consistent
🌿 Access to our private community (coming soon!) — for gentle accountability and encouragement
You’ll also receive:
💌 Weekly self-care reminders, new challenges, and encouragement in the Make Self-Care Simple newsletter
🪴 Access to our free private community — where women share progress, celebrate wins, and remind each other we’re not alone
🧠 MindCraft Pathway — mindset tools to stay consistent and inspired from within.
Make Self Care Simple shares general self-care education for inspiration only. I’m not providing medical advice — always check what’s right for you with a qualified health professional.
©2025 Make Self Care Simple.
Want to remember the key points about self-sabotage? Click the ‘Recipe’ below to print or save a summary!
